Friday Filosophy v.03.11.2022
Henry “Henny” Youngman (16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was an American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the “one-liner“, his best-known one-liner undoubtedly being “Take my wife… please”.
In a time when many comedians told elaborate anecdotes, Youngman’s routine consisted of telling simple one-liner jokes, occasionally with interludes of violin playing. These depicted simple, cartoon-like situations, eliminating lengthy build-ups and going straight to the punch line. Known as “the King of the One-Liners”, a title conferred to him by columnist Walter Winchell, a stage performance by Youngman lasted only 15 to 20 minutes but contained dozens of jokes in rapid succession.
- If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
- I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it’s feet first!
- My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
- This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
- You have a ready wit. Tell me when it’s ready.
- If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
- That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
- Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
- I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
- How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put ‘page 2.’
- Take my wife… Please!
The Time is Now.